


Listen to him sing

by Graceful_Flower



Category: Digimon - All Media Types, Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure tri.
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Post-Break Up, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:22:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24028837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graceful_Flower/pseuds/Graceful_Flower
Summary: Set during the events of Digimon Adventure tri. My take on why Sora and Yamato were so distant.Yamato's pretending he his fine even though he's not. Sora see's him change and slowly slipping away, while being all closed up about what's pushing him over the edge. But is he really that secretive about everything or aren't his friends listening well enough?*dark and emotional** slightly AU, but only in minor details
Relationships: Ishida Yamato | Matt Ishida/Takenouchi Sora
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Listen to him sing

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics and Music by Sam Fender, please watch and listen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcO8uV2n3Ys
> 
> The plot begins with the scene of Takeru paying Yamato a visit right before the gig in Digimon Tri: Reunion.

There he lay, staring motionlessly at the ceiling. His limbs felt heavy. His breathing was slow. He should have stood up, but he couldn't move. Or didn't want to? He couldn't really tell the difference anymore. It didn't matter that the sofa he was on wasn't very comfortable.

 _I can't take it anymore, Yamato_. Like a sting, this thought bore through his mind again. It often appeared suddenly and hurt him each time. He would hold his breath for a short moment. For a short moment he would wait until the sharp sting subsided. If he was lucky, he could slow down the other thoughts and banish them to a dark corner again. Most of the time, however, he did not have that. _The pressure, the others, I can't go on._ He massaged his forehead with narrowed eyes. Perhaps that helped to catch the thoughts again. He was tired and it was difficult to focus his gaze.

Standing up somehow. Breathing deeply. Hoping that the music would do its usual magic, otherwise he wouldn't make it through the gig today. There was a knock. And with it - reality.

Yamato allowed himself one last deep breath before his bandmate Koji ripped open the door and greeted him in the usual manner without greeting: "Let's go!" The drummer of their band was, like himself, not a man of big words. Why waste a lot of words when two did it just as well? So Yamato wordlessly took his bass, which had been waiting patiently for him next to the sofa, and followed Koji into the spacious club room from which something like music was already pathing its way towards him.

While Hiroto was exchanging his acoustic guitar for his blue, wood-trimmed electric guitar, Kazue still seemed unhappy with the wiring of the pedals. Yamato could hear him swearing. He knew that Kazue liked his electric piano better than the stage version. But it was an hassle anyway, lugging all the music equipment back and forth all the time.

"Well? How's the voice doing?", Hiroto asked and knelt down in front of one of the amplifiers, which was causing a hum barely audible to anyone besides them. They were all perfectionists down to the last knob, so Yamato was reluctant to leave the setup of the equipment to the guys alone. But he was just as perfectionist when it came to his voice and needed his peace and quiet to sing himself in. Not least because none of the breathing or scale exercises looked really flattering.

He was not in the mood for small talk, a nod was enough. "So let's go through the set then," he finally said calmly and wired his bass. "Let's hope you bunglers didn't mess up anything while I was away," Koji threw in, a gloating grin on his lips as he placed himself behind his drums. He saw Hiroto's and Kazue's middle finger while Yamato made an effort to ignore the comment and clasped the neck of his bass with his left hand. He needed music, immediately. His right hand gave the signal and Hiroto's beloved electric guitar filled the room in an instant.

_The anniversaries are short lived_

_But they come back around at a breakneck speed_

_My world spins so fast_

_The centrifugal force keep me stuck in the middle_

_We close our eyes_

_Learn our pain_

The room around Yamato disappeared and he felt his right arm move to the first syllables of his song by putting emphasis on the high notes. Impatiently, his left hand waited for its cue. But it was his voice that introduced this song together with Hiroto's electric guitar. He could feel every single tone flowing into his body, filling his tired cells with energy and carrying the tension outwards.

_Nobody ever could explain_

_All the dead boys in our hometown_

_We close our eyes_

_Learn our pain_

_Nobody ever could explain_

_All the dead boys in our hometown_

_All the dead boys in our hometown_

Finally. It was his hands' turn. He didn't have to do anything. No counting of the beats, no conscious changing of the chords. His fingers knew what to do. All the energy they generated with their notes on the strings he redirected into his words. Whoever listened to him had to understand them. She simply had to understand him.

_We all tussle with the black dog_

_Some out loud and some in silence_

_Everybody 'round here just drinks_

_'Cause that's our culture_

_We close our eyes_

_Learn our pain_

_Nobody ever could explain_

_All the dead boys in our hometown_

_We close our eyes_

_Learn our pain_

_Nobody ever could explain_

_All the dead boys in our hometown_

_All the dead boys in our hometown_

His voice found Hiroto's solo and his body anticipated what was to come. This positive tension, this tingling. If he didn't love everything about music anyway, it would be this moment, this one moment in every song, for which he would always love music. This moment just before the tension reaches its peak and right now discharges in Koji's energetic beat on his instrument, combines all instruments and his voice in all their power. Yamato puts everything into his voice. Everything he has, everything he is.

_We close our eyes_

_Learn our pain_

_Nobody ever could explain_

_All the dead boys in our hometown_

_We close our eyes_

_Learn our pain_

_Nobody ever could explain_

_All the dead boys in our hometown_

_All the dead boys in our hometown_

Silence. Being alone for a moment with the echo of the music. Then he is ready for reality again. He opens his eyes and at the same time a distant clapping enters his ears. Irritated, he looks up.

"Wow, brother dear. You're on fire today!" A gentle smile forms on his lips as he recognizes Takeru at the other end of the room. As the latter approaches him beaming with joy, he comments on Takeru's statement with a flat laugh: "Perhaps in your extremely unmusical ears!"

Yamato deliberately ignores the objections of his band colleagues and instead lets his brother give him a short hug. He lingers in his embrace for a moment longer than expected. A feeling of security tries to spread. _I have no strength for it._ This stinging feeling. This painful thought of the security he had had with her. Yamato pushes away from his little brother before the feeling of security has a chance.

"What are you doing here, little brother?", he says to conceal his strange behavior. "The gig doesn't start for another two hours."

Takeru hesitates a moment. His raised eyebrow expresses his irritation. For a moment he thought about addressing the strange behaviour of his big brother. He knew him long and well enough to know that he tended to disguise his insecurities or embarrassment with weird actions every now and then and thus sometimes caused strange situations. But hugs had not been part of it until then. And lately, his behavior had been even more unusual. Or maybe it was because of the nervousness before the performance? The club was big and not a common size to play at for him and his band. Instead of worried inquiries, Takeru decided to smile: "Well, I wanted to give you some moral support. I know how you get stage fright all the time."

"When did I ever have stage fright?" Yamato shouted promptly and furiously at him. Takeru couldn't help but giggle. How nice it was to tease him. "You were a wreck before our first performance together last school year," Kazue replied from his piano with a gloating grin.

"Who asked you in the cheap seats?" How Yamato hated it when everyone gathered around him to complain about stale news like that. It was even worse when he himself had no good memories of those moments. Now Takeru laughed out loud, as he always did when Yamato felt caught and attacked like this.

"Joking apart. I don’t wanna risk you cancelling the concert because you're so angry" Takeru intervened still grinning, but wanting to smooth the waves a bit. "I had nothing else to do today. I wanted to see how you were preparing.”

"Okay, but I'm warning you, it can be a bit brusque," Yamato replied a bit more sympathetic. "Don't worry, brother, I didn't expect anything less from you!" Takeru underlined his statement with a last sneering grin before he placed himself a little bit aside to watch the band, skillfully ignoring Yamato's angry look.

"Well, let's go on in the set and this time, could you at least pretend there's rhythm somewhere in your body," Yamato said bluntly and his band mates didn't seem a bit offended. Takeru realized that his brother hadn't been joking about the harsh tone. Obviously this was part of the good tone in a rock band. They were in for the brusque competition quite equally. But, damn, they were good.

~*~

"No wonder you like hanging out with those guys," Takeru said when he was alone with Yamato in the back room of the stage area. Yamato had spent the last 20 minutes unsuccessfully trying to reach a technician to find a cause for the unexplained interference in their equipment. "Why?", Yamato replied somewhat absently while still staring at his cell phone as if the solution to his problem was buried in it somewhere.

"They’re almost as quirky as you are, kind of. They flatly contradict you. And you're really good together," Takeru concluded, hoping to lure his brother out of his reserve with the compliment. But as soon as Yamato had left the stage, he seemed to be received by this tension again which has had Takeru watching his brother with concern for weeks. He seemed nervous and unfocused. He was still staring absently at his cell phone.

"Oniisan, is everything all right?", Takeru asked anxiously. Somewhat surprised, Yamato looked down at his brother who was sitting next to him on a chair. _I have to go, Yamato. It's over._ Again this stinging sensation in his stomach which took his breath for a moment. What had Takeru asked? Why was this twinge there again as soon as he had left the stage? As soon as the music around him had stopped? Was everything all right? He didn't know.

"Of course", he said loudly and somehow scraped together an encouraging smile. "It just looks as if we'll have to cancel the gig." He hoped Takeru would be satisfied. He just didn't have the patience or concentration for deep conversations about his thoughts and feelings. With relief, he suddenly realized the news was coming to his aid. On a small television they had tried to find out if the interference of their equipment could be a local problem.

And what they were seeing on the screen was much more than a local problem. Strange disturbances had appeared all over the city accompanied by even stranger giant flying animals.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Yamato asked, although he knew the answer. "I do!", Takeru replied and without hesitation grabbed his cell phone. Suspiciously, Yamato watched his brother calling off a date with a mysterious person for the concert and apologizing explicitly. Actually, he didn't interfere in other people's private affairs, but in an old, brotherly manner he couldn't help but tease his brother: " Your girlfriend?” But Takeru handled the provocation with aplomb: "Well, let's say a friend."

A friend. She was also just a friend. There it was again: this fog that suddenly seized his thoughts. But Takeru suddenly tore him out: "But don't worry, brother. I only love you." Even though his brother's statements always contained a bit of sarcasm, Yamato knew the true essence of it. And that was enough to clear the fog for today. And maybe all these mysterious events also meant that he would see one of his most important friends again quite soon.

Actually, he was doing quite well after all. It had been months since Sora had said those stabbing words to him. It had been months since she had ended their relationship.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this might seem like a good old, sappy songfic, but it's not really...despite using lyrics. I have always felt intrigued by Yamato being a musician and wanted to explore his relationship to music. So this is what this story is going to be about and lyrics are a very important piece of the story plot. So bear with me.
> 
> I really hope that you can envision Yamato singing this song by Sam Fender just as much as me. The descriptions correspond with what is happening in the song. So maybe you want to listen to it and read this chapter along. And hopefully, you can relate to the emotions and what is happening. 
> 
> I know that using music can be risky as everybody has got different taste and probably imagines his favorite characters being active in a different genre, but maybe this can also work out for you. Let me know in the comments :)
> 
> One more thing, please bear with my English skills. It's not my mother tongue and I am not used to writing fan fiction in English. Thank you :)


End file.
